Five Ways to Manage Holiday Blues
A suggestion or a requirement? Don’t feel pressured to be 100% jolly, 100% of the time.
Imagine this…you save for months to be able to buy exactly the gifts your loved ones want the most, spend hours and hours shopping and wrapping, bake tray after tray of delicious, colorful cookies for colleagues and neighbors and, rather then rest in the evenings, dress up in your festive finest and head out into the world, spreading good cheer everywhere you go. And then, when Christmas Day arrives, you look around at the torn wrapping and cookie crumbs, gathering the energy to cook the big meal expected by family and guests and ask yourself…
“Is this it? Why don’t I feel happy? What’s wrong with me?”
There’s nothing wrong with you! It’s a rare person who sails through every holiday season feeling perfectly jolly all, or even most, of the time. Many of us will, at one time or another, fall victim to the holiday blues, diminishing our pleasure in what should be a time of joy and anticipation, and interfering with our ability to engage with our families and communities. At worst they can contribute to deeper forms of depression and professional assistance. Luckily, most of us will be able to manage occasional melancholic empty feelings without too much difficulty. Here are my top tips for handling the holiday blues:
Don’t Focus on Solely Christmas Day: Putting all our attention on a single day is a sure way to raise expectations beyond hope of being satisfied! Expanding your holiday observance from Christmas Day (or New Year’s Eve or Boxing Day or…) alone to encompass the entire season increases your internal “happiness bank” to receive regular deposits of joy, lessening the pressure for that one day to be absolutely perfect.
Watch Alcohol Intake and Sleep Quality: A glass of champagne or a hot buttered rum with friends is one of Advent’s great joys. Too much of a good thing, however, can really mess with your system and cause any number of adverse emotional effects. Not only that, but too many drinks will interfere with the quality of your shut-eye, meaning that even if you’re not awake, your body isn’t getting the rest it needs. Good sleep habits are important for mental health so after making that toast to Peace on Earth consider switching to a delicious mocktail.
Call a Friend: The blues come for us all eventually so odds are good that your friends have felt the same at one point or another. Reaching out for a friendly ear and admitting you need help coping with the demands of the season will help. Sometimes just naming the problem and saying it out loud will help. You’ll strengthen and deepen your relationship, too, making room for true vulnerability between you. Don’t forget to return the favor when you’re needed on the other side of the conversation!
Take a Social Media Break: Ever heard the expression that comparison is the thief of joy? There’s no better way to compare your own life to others - and have your joy stolen right away - than checking in on your social media feeds. A day or even a whole weekend away will help your focus return to your own life and experiences. Let the social media influencers influence someone else for a bit!
“No” is a Complete Sentence: If you’re a reliable sort of person you’re no doubt called upon to do a lot of things for a lot of people and organizations. You want to help, right? Especially at the holiday season it’s tempting to throw ourselves wholly into solving all the world’s ills, or at least to organizing the Youth Group potluck. The thing is, no matter how noble the intentions, packing our schedules full, fuller, fullest will only lead us to dejected exhaustion when our efforts aren’t paid back in an ideal holiday experience. If a request comes that is too much for any reason at all - time, money, mental health - feel empowered to say, “No.” If that’s uncomfortable for you try, “That won’t be possible.” And stop right there. Giving a reason invites negotiation and you, being the reliable sort of person, is vulnerable to being talked into things. Right?
And that’s it! With these five reminders ringing in my ears along with the jingle bells I know I increase my odds of arriving at the end of the festival season not cranky and unfulfilled, but with an altogether happier kind of tired, full of new memories and looking ahead to next year.